


Screaming in Colour

by karsynn_o



Category: Othello - Shakespeare
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/F, F/M, Female Friendships, Gen, I don't know what else, Sapphic, and i'm not outlining it, because this isn't complete, desdemilia, so who knows where it'll go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-03 15:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15822015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karsynn_o/pseuds/karsynn_o
Summary: modern college AU adaptation of Othello from Emilia's point of view, where she tries to make sense of her feelings for Desdemona while trying to navigate through her relationship with Iago





	1. Love in the Time of Cell Phones

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I haven't written a fic since I was in second grade so I think this'll be a fun little project! I'm not planning it at all so we'll see where it goes, if anywhere.

It was one in the morning and Emilia lay wide awake in bed. For the past hour, her mind had been filled with thoughts only of Desdemona. It pained her to know that her closest friend and ally was suffering bouts of uncertainty in regards to Othello’s love for her. And it plagued her that she could do little, if anything, about it. But more than that, perhaps most tormenting, was the ache of longing in her heart. Desdemona was her friend, yes, absolutely… but was it appropriate to miss her so much? To smile to herself when she imagined Desdemona laughing? Was it _normal_ to look forward to her text messages, and _only_ hers?

Emilia didn’t know what to do with herself, especially with Iago sleeping next to her, his breathing a constant reminder of restless silence. It was different with Desdemona. They could sit together without sharing a word, and the world would seem at peace. Everything just seemed to make sense with Desdemona. With Iago, Emilia could do nothing right, could never satisfy him, could hardly find solace in the world. Oh, she learned a long time ago that the world was a cruel thing. And yet, Desdemona could set everything right and good with her presence alone.

Iago stirred, and Emilia lay still on her side. He shifted considerably away from her and moved from the bed. Emilia shut her eyes. She knew he’d have no reason to check on her, but Iago had been so cold and wayward lately (more than usual) that she’d adopted the habit of taking extra care not to give him any inklings of change or discomfort on her part.

When he crept out of the bedroom, Emilia reached for her phone on the end table. She told herself she shouldn’t, that she needed to be asleep because she had an exam to write in the morning. But she felt compelled to reach out to Desdemona. Perhaps she could leave her a kind message to read in the morning. That would have been a thoughtful gesture, but Emilia was desperate for an immediate response, unlikely as it was. She unlocked her phone, opened the messaging app, and typed.

_Hi Des, are you awake?_

Emilia placed her phone under her pillow so that she might never miss a response. But not long after, she drifted off to sleep on thoughts of Desdemona.


	2. I want to ask but I don't

Emilia sat on a stool at the kitchen counter, looking over her Women’s Studies notes. Iago entered, dripping wet with a towel around his waist. Emilia watched, annoyed, as he left tracks of shower water along the kitchen tiles, drops raining from his head. But she wasn’t going to say anything this time. Iago stalked past her to the refrigerator, reached in, and pulled out a beer. It was barely nine o’clock and he had two exams to write, but still she said nothing.

Iago chugged the beer and Emilia lost all focus. She packed up her books and grabbed her phone. Just as she was about to check for a response from Desdemona, her phone vibrated.

Good morning, Em! Ready for midterms?

Emilia smiled to herself. Should she respond right away? Should she wait at least a minute? Why did it matter? She should wait lest she seem too eager. But why? Would Desdemona even think that?

All set! she typed hastily. Good luck today! She sent the message. It was done. She became aware of Iago hovering next to her.

“What are you smiling at?” he asked disparagingly. He grabbed Emilia’s phone out of her hands and read through her text messages and he started walking away.

“Give it back!” Emilia hopped off the stool and reached for his arm, but Iago held the phone high above his head as he swiped through her phone. Emilia stood on her toes and tried to bring his hand down, but she lacked the effort; she’d given up on really trying a long time ago.

As angry or frustrated as she could be with him, she still loved him, and she hated it. She hated how so much of what she did and said had to be done with Iago’s temperament in mind. With Desdemona, she could be genuine, and Desdemona wouldn’t love her any less for it. If she disapproved of something, she would say so without judgment -- she could shame the action, but never Emilia. With Iago, everything she did came under scrutiny.

Iago relented and tossed Emilia’s phone onto the counter. He had found nothing suspicious or incriminating, aside from her reaction. He disappeared around the corner into his bedroom.

Emilia picked up her phone and scanned it for any scratches, then resumed texting Desdemona.

I’ll see you later! she typed, followed by a heart emoji. She was going to press SEND, but hesitated as she wondered if she should end with the heart emoji. She became aware of this now being an issue, or she was making it out to be one. Emilia never had a problem with heart emojis in the past, and Desdemona used them freely, but now she was scrutinizing her own use of it. What if, somehow, Desdemona saw it and could read that it signaled something more than friendly affection? Emilia dreaded this, but a part of her wished her secret would be discovered.


End file.
